The year was 1924.
Edward Lomax, the board heir to a Robert Barrons empire
and obsessed with work with Aleister Crowley,
acquired a genuine grimoire during a trip to eastern Europe.
The decadent fools were messing with a dangerous
ancient spell that opened a gateway to the underworld.
Do you really think you can summon an actual demon,
Eddie boy?
I certainly hope so.
I paid that old gypsy plenty for this book.
The incantation didn't work.
That gypsy bitch swindled me.
Shut up and fuck me you silly boy.
At last I'm free.
At least I'm free!
Abigail wrote these stories down in her diary.
Also claiming that she was possessed when she killed Edward.
Then she killed herself.
Sounds to me like she was a paranoid schizophrenic.
Sounds to me like she needed a shrink.
A very good shrink.
Or maybe she was telling the truth.
The house has belonged to the Lomax family for centuries.
Ever since that night in 1924,
it's been associated with paranormal phenomena.
Missing persons and a bizarre series of gruesome murders.
Psychics have wanted to investigate the house for years.
I am the first that they've allowed inside.
Was it your slammin' rep as a medium that sold them?
Or do they just like hot PhD's?
Do you ever quit?
You have to excuse him, Dr. Brown,
he suffers a terrible affliction.
In Latin I believe it's referred to as totalist assholeist.
I believe that the Lomax house is haunted.
And by the same demon that Edward and Abigail summoned
over 90 years ago.
I want to do a seance tonight
to prove once and for all that the skeptics are wrong
and that the spirits do live amongst us.
Why involve us, then?
If it were up to me, I wouldn't.
But the property owner insisted.
You have a very popular show, your Fright Finders.
He wants you to go in and document everything that I find
for broadcast.
The only thing we're going to document
is you making a fool out of yourself.
But the show will kill in the ratings
and it will make for a great panel at Comicon.
What do you guys say?
Guess we're in.
I hope we prove you right, Holly.
Lex wouldn't know a ghost if it bit him on the ass.
That remark would have really hurt my feelings, Susan,
if I had any.
Then it's settled.
The owner will meet us there in 90 minutes.
How could you be so sure we were going to say yes?
I'm a psychic, remember?
♫ I've got my eye on you
♫ And a motive too
♫ Your foolin' around's
♫ Getting blood on my shoes
♫ I've set my sites on you
♫ Got an alibi too
♫ So don't look around
♫ I've got nothing to lose
Five bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms,
a swimming pool, and a bonus guest house.
This house would be a real steal if it weren't haunted.
But how could you prove that
or disprove it?
And would you live in a house
with that kind of storied reputation?
Would you even spend one night?
Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.
We're about to enter the legendary Lomax house
where famous medium and demonologist Dr. Holly Brown
will attempt to contact the spirits that have been rumored
to have murdered over a dozen people here.
It could be the most dangerous assignment
that our crack team of supernatural investigators
has ever dared to tackle.
Cut.
Sweet.
This place looks like something out of an old
Scooby Doo episode.
I would have gotten away with it
if wasn't for those meddling kids.
- Zoinks. - Zoinks.
What are you guys talking about?
Hey, I'm Tom Lomax.
I'm the owner of the place.
Really?
I'd figured you'd be older.
Well I inherited it a couple of years ago
and I can't rent it, I can't sell it.
Thanks to the fucking internet,
everybody on the planet knows about its reputation.
I'm Lex.
These are my associates Susan and RJ.
Thanks for allowing us to document this very important event
in the history of parapsychology.
You can cut the crap.
You and I both know that these stories
about my great grandfather summoning demons is nonsense.
Very unhealthy attitude, Mr. Lomax.
You must be the psychic that I talked to on the phone.
Holly Brown.
So tell me, is it true that mummified bodies
of seven men were found in the house in 1968
and that your family had it covered up by the police?
I don't really know anything about that.
I was born in 1980.
And my uncle left me this place
along with a huge property tax bill.
Which is why I need to sell it ASAP.
I'm hoping that after your show airs
people will see that it's just an ordinary house,
not the Amityville Horror, and I can get some real offers.
And what happens if we prove
this house is really haunted?
Well then I'll just write a letter to Santa Clause
and ask him to buy it.
Well tell Santa Clause he still owes me a Optimus Prime
from when I was 12.
Let's the equipment inside, pronto.
Don't worry, I aint afraid of no ghost.
You should be.
Infrared cameras ready.
EVP-sensitive microphones online.
Magnetic-flex ectoplasm detector is activated and
calibrated.
Broad-spectrum radiation monitors
and laser thermometers.
Ready.
Okay, let's get started.
Everybody take a seat.
Don't you need some glass beads and a chicken?
Maybe a Ouija board, perhaps?
You watch too much television, RJ.
My spirit summoning tool is right here.
Everyone, join hands.
Everybody concentrate and help her.
I know that you're here.
I am the doorway.
I know that you're here.
I am the doorway.
Show yourself.
I know that you're here.
I am the doorway.
Show yourself.
I know that you're here.
I am the doorway.
I know that you're here.
I am the doorway.
Show yourself.
I know that you are here.
I am the door.
Show your self.
I know that you're here.
I am the doorway.
I know that you're here.
I am the door.
Show yourself.
Did we get that on camera?
Tell me the cameras kept working.
Dude, we are good.
This shit is gold.
Are you okay?
I think so.
Did we get anything.
Hell yeah.
We just got a clear-cut manifestation.
Right on camera.
That was incredible.
How did you do that?
I've seen every medium trick in the book
but you are definitely the best.
Whatever that was wasn't a trick.
Now that I've verified the spirits presence
I'm gonna need your permission to clear the house.
Clear the house?
Like an exorcism of the building?
Exactly.
Whatever it takes for you guys to certify that the house
is ghost free, is fine by me.
Guys, I'm getting a little creeped out here.
Are you out of your mind?
This is the episode that's gonna get us off of basic cable
and on to the network.
I don't believe for a second that this is real
but Doc Brown here is the greatest show on earth.
Come on, guys.
We finally have a chance to be real investigators here.
We're gonna sweep this place all night if we have to.
We're gonna collect all the data we can.
Do I make myself clear?
Okay.
I need to locate the portal
where the demon crossed in to our world.
And then send it back to hell.
All right, you want to believe in fairy tales?
I'll play dress up.
Full monitor sweep until dawn.
I really hope we don't regret this.
Just fire up another doobie and you'll be fine.
I pay you to get this shit on tape, not to freak out.
Testing, testing.
You hear?
I hear you, Lex, copy that.
Let me what you got eyes on.
Microphones and camera are online.
Fright Finders ready for action.
Tom.
Yeah, do I know you?
Are you a part of Lex's crew?
You look just like Edward.
Edward?
Your great grandfather, silly.
He was so handsome.
Always knew just where to touch me.
It feels so good.
See?
Why you doing this?
Why do you think?
I'm just paying you back for setting me free, Edward.
RJ, you picking that up?
Picking what up?
That song.
I don't hear anything.
This microphone must be broken
if you can't hear music this loud.
If the microphone is broken, Lex, how come I can hear you?
I just lost your signal, Lex.
You're offline, Lex.
Hello?
Lex?
RJ, there's somebody out here.
And I don't think it's Holly.
You see someone?
Where?
Right in front of me, on the bench.
Can't you see her?
There's no one there, Sus.
Are you and Lex both dropping acid
or are you just trying to fuck with me?
She's right here, RJ.
What are you talking about?
I just lost your signal, too.
Hello?
Is anybody out there?
Can anybody hear me?
Susan?
Lex?
I got nothing up here but white noise and snow.
So unless you're in the Yukon huntin' Sasquatch
this shit is never gonna get us off basic cable.
Lex?
Are you okay?
I Heard all these voices.
All these people, they were...
How are you doing this?
This isn't me.
This is no trick, Lex.
It's real.
But I found something.
It explains everything.
Come on, I'll show you.
Holly, wait.
I found this in a secret panel.
It must have belonged to Abigail.
What does it say?
It tells a story
about a beautiful angel who seduces the arch angel Samuel.
And then something about it being a sin
to make love to an arch angel.
So the angel was cast from heaven, like Lucifer,
and thrown in to a pit.
It's a place of hell.
Fire and pain.
So the angel became a demon
seeking only to escape her eternal agony.
I don't understand.
What's that got to do with us?
She can only remain on Earth
by sucking the life out of men during sex.
Don't you see?
We've let her out.
She's somewhere in this house.
That's just a story.
It can't be true.
You don't think so?
No.
Do you remember when you said that I was a hottie?
I meant it.
I wanted you from the first time I saw you.
Then show me.
You're fucking a demon.
Exactly.
Fuck this, I'm outta here!
Susan!
RJ,
it's Holly's book, have you seen her?
I Haven't seen shit.
Montiors went down
and I've been sitting around with my thumb in my ass.
All right, so you haven't seen Lex or Tom, either?
I thought they were all in here.
No, if what I read in this book is true,
we've got to get everybody out of this house right now.
Well that's fine with me,
I never wanted to be here in the first place.
Just go out to the guest house
and see if you can find Holly.
I'll check upstairs, okay?
Shouldn't we stick together?
No, no time.
Now go!
Holly!
Were you looking for me?
Yeah.
Susan's got your book.
She wants to bail out of here.
Does she?
Yeah, I know you want to do your exorcism and everything
but I think she's right.
We got to get the hell out of dodge.
I don't think that's gonna be necessary.
Stay away from her, RJ.
She's possessed.
She killed Lex and Tom.
What?
They're both dead, RJ.
Don't be deprived.
You can have me if you want.
Thanks,
but shouldn't we get to know each other a little first?
Let's start now.
All satanic powers, all demons infernal.
All assembly in sector of the devil.
Holly?
What happened?
I'm not sure.
I think I just beat the hell out of you.
Thanks,
I think.
Shit.
I'm sure glad to be out of that place.
Me too.
Do you believe in ghost or demons?
Do you think it possible for them to enter our world?
Maybe the next time you meet a girl
that seems too good to be true,
she may very well be the ultimate Femme Fatale.
♫ I don't follow the crowd
♫ Cuz I'm a leper
♫ I don't follow the crowd
♫ I got my wrapper ♫
Kill, little boo,
kill.
Good fish.